Kristin Marie

10:22 pm: Faith
So, I was talking to a very dear, atheist friend of mine last night. And I think I realized more about my faith with him than at any bible study, missions trip, or church get together.

He told me that He wished more Christians were like me. Truly walking the walk and living life according to Jesus' teachings. Loving and caring for others. He thought that it was awful that I had to be shoved into the stereotype of Christians.

He got me thinking. (I really hope I don't offend anyone here). So many Christians are trying to keep God in the pledge of allegance and getting prayer in school. But that's silly. I mean I believe in God, but not everyone does. I also would never ever go parading around an abortion clinic. Think about those poor girls. They are already going through enough pain and here we are rubbing it in their face that they are failures. Instead of having rallies why aren't we at orphanages helping those children who have been abandoned? Supporting those who have given their children up for adoption? I think that would be more helpful.

There are so many issues out there that I think God would approve of more than crushing others and showing hate. Why not going out to Africa and helping with the AIDS crisis? Or helping with the damages that tsunamis and hurricaines have made? Or more importantly in our own country? There are real people who need our help. Like children who have no families, teens facing drug addictions and living on the streets, or a single mom working so hard she misses her baby's first words?

I think we need to stop praying for ourselves and start praying for the people around us who are hurting. We need to show them love. If we just gave people our love and support...Life would be so much better and we wouldn't have so much conflict...

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material posessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18

10:40 pm: together again
The family got together for the first time since I was in eigth grade....

See, the summer of 2003 my aunt and her family lived with my grandparents while their cabin was being built...Long story short, they couldn't afford the house and got in a HUGE argument with my papa..He's a stubborn ass, so they didn't talk to each other for years...My great uncle (papa's brother) passed away in march of my junior year and that caused my papa to apologize. He said he couldn't stay mad because he could go next. They made up and ever since then I've been excited for this holiday. But while I was on my missions trip to Costa Rica my Uncle Gary died. The day I hopped on the plane he had a heart attack. I missed the funeral, everything. I hadn't seen him since I was 13 and no one called me or anything. I was doing laundry with my mom the day I returned and all I got was "Oh by the way..." I wished we had done a BBQ or something before I left...

It was the first major holiday without him and everyone seemed to handle it well. My cousins, my aunt...Everyone was cheerful. 4 years...I hadn't seen him in 4 years. I didn't phase me when I was first told...But today, not seeing him sitting on the couch watching football, not getting my kiss goodbye, not hearing him call me his little mouse...Everything made me miss him. I'm sure my aunt and cousins feel 10 times worse than I do, they are just strong. I mean he was their father and husband. But I do miss him.

But it was still nice to have the family back together. Chesley is tutoring at the middle school and thinking about becoming a math teacher, Curt's football team won the state championship and he's captain next year, and Naomi and my sister got to be Jr High girls and goof off together. It was nice to see everyone happy. It's a cheesy thing to say, but there really is a lot to be thankful for.

09:03 pm: What too much thought can do...haha
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. It's kinda weird how it all sparked. Tyler, a friend at work, has forced me to think about not only my faith, but life in general. It's pretty amazing actually.

But apparently thinking can get you in trouble. This week was stressful...Saturday was allstate auditions and I worked really hard to learn the music but when the audition came around I counted the rest as 4 instead of 3...I couldn't get back in the song...Oh well. Sunday night Dan wanted to hang out after his youth group at 8 but I got out of work around 7:30...Tyler wanted to talk and gave me a free smoothie...How could I resist? But we got talking...and before I knew it is was 9:45. To say the least Daniel and I got into an argument...Monday and Tuesday were awful...Tyler helped cheer me up by just talking with me Monday night...I didn't know what to do. My relationship was shaking and one of my best friends was fading...

Tuesday night that best friend sent me a message saying "...I miss you too" She already knew how I felt which made me feel a lot better. And Dan showed up at work..after 3 days of silence and we talked things out that night after work. Thank goodness...I don't think I could have handled it.

But through it all I have begun to think...about God, my faith, what I believe in, what life is...It's been intense...

The family is coming over tomorrow...and the only room left to clean is the kitchen...

It's really cold...

10:46 pm: Less is more
it's raining pretty hardcore right now...i wish it would just snow..it's cold..let's go!!

just to clear things up with quinny...russell is one of my best friends..not my boyfriend. haha. dan is my boyfriend..and don't worry i'm sure you'll approve..he's a preacher's kid. how could you go wrong haha.

this week has been really hectic and full of a lot of stress. stress that wasn't even necessary. i thought i had a bad grade in shakespeare...when i really have a B. i made the honor roll..I need to freak out less. Allstate auditions on the other hand...they are saturday and monday morning i woke up with a sore throat and throughout the week i've been trying to cure it...but only watched it grow worse...I don't think i'm going to be able to go..but we'll see.

i need some advice. let's say someone that you care deeply about has a problem. about 6-7 years ago you thought they fixed the problem..you've been suspicious for awhile but you finally find evidence in their bag. what do you do? do you confront them...it's someone you love and respect and they said that they would quit for you and you realize they never quit...

i'm hurting inside...i read my bible, pray...i dont know what to do.

"Jesus I pray, take all my mistakes. Throw them away, destroy them for my sake. To the best of my ability, I'm practicing humility. And I lay myself before cause...less is more"

11:30 pm: FH State Champs!!...and so much more
so i just realized that it's been a whole week and i havent said anything...leb fh are the class i state champions!! and you know what? even if it was only about 2 minutes...i got playing time in it!! i contributed! it was an awesome game..a full game, 2 games of 7 a side, and corners...SO INTENSE. but my girls are awesome like that.

and in more leb varsity sports news boys soccer made it to the finals..oh yes. i love my russell. but they went into overtime yesterday and have to play again on weds (this time i'll actually be able to go!!!) i'm so pumped.

in other events...q. 1 ended and i think i did well..which is good. i heard from messiah finally and they wanna see my grades after 2nd quarter...more waiting...i hate college searching. but it will be worth it...eventually..

i had the first couple bumps in the relationship road...it sucked but it wasnt too bad..i prayed about and eventually made up. fighting with ones you love whether its a boyfriend, mom, best friend, sister...they all suck at first but they are worth it cause it makes you stronger..in your relationships, with God and as a person.

finally...the triple sickle hung out as a threesome tonight for the first time in....i dont know when...i missed it..i love them

well i should get some rest...i need my REM you know...haha Dot!

09:14 pm: field hockey is taking over
so i've been grounded for the past few weeks...there was a little "confusion" with my psychology grade..but everything is ALL good now.

not much has been going on. basically school and field hockey. school..well you all know how that is. and field hockey..we are doing great! and it's loads of fun...i just feel a little distant sometimes. i mean everyone loves each other...i just feel like i don't fit in with the personalities of the group and i don't put field hockey first..its like third..but hopefully after thurs's game we will be going to the finals on sunday..so that should be fun.

i'm singing on the worship team now..thats new..its really awesome. though its made up of all adults they are great people and very welcoming. i love singing..oh man it makes me happy.

i've been feeling a little in the dumps lately but i've been trying to cheer myself up...but finally on sunday pat just knew what was going on in my mind. it was like his sermon was just for me. he was talking about how it is easy to say how we are doing but when someone asks how our heart is it is hard to measure. it was jsut awesome..

i'll leave you with this:

"2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2,3

10:44 pm: Back in the swing of things..
well..life is back to normal. other than the fact that i'm a SENIOR..its fun. i thought it would be really weird. but i really like all of my classes. like i cant pick a fav..so amazing. and i have 1st AND 2nd off so i get to sleep in. soooo nice. yes indeeded.

BUT i still miss everyone...kristina, melissa, lara...i saw rowan at church on sunday..i definately wasn't expecting it..such a nice suprise.

i got a new job at weathervane. it's....interesting to say the least. a very different group of people than those who work ina department store. they like to swear a lot and talk about sex. and this one guy named tyler is trying to convert me to atheism..yeah...it's gunna be fun. but i'm still working at JCP on thursdays so i can keep my discount..i'm such a cheater!! hehe

yeah, so there are a lot of changes going on in my life right now. i thought i wasn't going to able to handle it...varsity field hockey, senior classes, applications for college, close friends leaving, new faster paced job...but somehow..it's working pretty damn well!! and i have one person to thank for that. G-O-D..He's making it all work out. All I have to do is put my trust in Him.

i have gone through so much pain through high school. from feb '04- may '06...but when i got back from costa rica...my whole view on life changed. the hole in my heart that i was trying to fill with things of this world those 3 years..finally was mended rather then filled. life is going SWEET. and i've got an amazing person in my life. well i've got LOTS of amazing people in my life but i have in the words of jacqui an "oo" who is great and knows exactly how to cheer me up.



this is going to be a good year...

10:12 pm: i don't want to grow up
life...just keeps going..and going..cant stop it

my graduate friends are off to college and the real world. i won't see them for awhile. my pals from costa rica, we all went our separate ways.

sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be peter pan. never having to grow up. sometimes i just wish i could have that. other times i just want to get on with life.

right now..i really want to be peter. really badly. i'm scared. i've got a year, but having to make so many decisions on colleges and saving money for car insurance, phone bills, my education...where did the time go when all i wanted money for was a lollipop?

i know all i need to do is trust God and just live for Him day by day and not worry about tomorrow..but its hard.

thats my thought process for the day..in case you were curious



second star to the right and straight on 'til morning...

01:12 pm: I saw this on Pat's journal and I just really wanted to do it
- - - - - - - Your Life: The Soundtrack - - - - - - - -
So, here's how it works:
Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
Put it on shuffle.
Press play.
For every question type the song that's playing.
When you go to a new question press the next button.
Some songs fit perfectly. Others not so much.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Opening Credits: "Can't Take the Pain" by Third Day (well we're off to odd start)

Waking Up: "Can't Stay" by Krystal Meyers (not really a wake up kinda song)

Falling in Love: "Dry" by Kutless (falling in love with God)

Fight scene: "I Am" from !Hero the Rock Opera (am i fighting jesus? thats not good)

Breaking up: "Goodbye for Now" by POD (haha)

Getting back together: "You're Not Alone" by MXPX (fitting i suppose)

Secret Love: "The Christmas Song" by Mel Torme (haha i have a secret love for christmas

Life's okay: "This Man" by Jeremy Camp (yeah it works)

Mental breakdown: "Praises" by Newsboys (the first verse works..but not the rest of the song)

Driving Flashback: "Jesus, I lift my Eyes" by Jars of Clay (ehh..)

Partying: "Wedding Celebration" from !Hero Rock Opera (apparently theres wedding going on)

Happy Dance: "Billy Brown" by Third Day (fun song to dance to)

Regretting: "Hello" by Evanescence (yeah they are depressing)

Long night: "Ocean Floor" by Audio Adrenaline (maybe...)

Final Battle: "The Last Song" by 12 stones (hehehe)

Death scene: "Luv is a Verb" by dctalk (no..no no)

End credits: "Atmosphere" by Toby Mac (i give up..oh its done now)

I have too much christian music for this to work..haha

12:52 pm: what an amazing summer
MAN!!! Is it good to be back. Costa Rica was the most amazing, life changing experience ever. I know not everyone will want to read this but below is my journal from the trip. It is split into sections for lighter reading. Enjoy my friends.





As for soulfest...it was pretty awesome as well. The most memorable part was the night i stalked dan haseltine....

bethany, fanny (his real name is dan) and i went to the jars of clay encore performance on friday night. it was amazing. after the concert was over though i seriously hung myself over the balcony railing and just watching dan. he was right underneath me and bethany yells "hi dan" and he looks up and waves at us and says nice to meet you. after that we went outside and dan haseltine was standing behind a red fence...that was the only thing separating me from him...bethany has a picture of it that i will post when i get it from her. but then he walked by to get on the bus if i wasnt so entranced i probably could have reached out and touched him...*sigh* but i was so fascinated with dan that i didnt realize that matt the guitarist was standing right next to me. so we then started talking to him but then he had to get on the bus. man oh man. that was the most amazing night ever!!! after we left we fell on the ground and stargazed..the perfect ending.



BOOT CAMP
July 16

Well, the first day has been interesting. I met all the girls going on the trip and the counselors. Amy Shankula is my counselor and so far she has been very nice.

Surprisingly, I have been very quiet so i guess i should start speaking out. We had a big orientation last night, watched a movie, and prayed for the groups. The movie (though it was cheesy acting) told an awesome story of a young woman on fire for God, who wanted to tell others about Him. She was killed at a young age when their plane was shot down mistaken for drug dealers. But the point of the movie was made clear by the husband when he said it was worth it all.

I am very excited about this trip. I know that God has brought all of us together on purpose. I can't wait to see what He has planned.

July 17

So, today was the first all day boot camp experience. It was very long and full of stuff that is important to know, but gets boring after awhile. We learned how to make our testimonies short and easy to translate, how to do the rope trick, hat trick, wordless book, and balloon animals. They are all great ways to get people's attention and tell them about Jesus. Once again Amy is awesome, though she figured out I was very ticklish...

It is so great that God has put together this trip with people who love Him. He also has given me a friend who has a real passion for music. Her name is Alisha, she has a beautiful voice and is very talented. It is amazing how God brings things together.

July 18

Today we really got into the dramas. I thin kthey will really have a big impact on the people's lives. I can't wait to see how God touches the people of Costa Rica.

At the beginning of boot camp I was very afraid that there would be no one who really clicked with me. I mean everyone is very friendly but I wanted a friendship, not an acquaintance. But God knows his own timing and has started some friendships with the Canadians.

I almost forgot! We had a hardcore soccer game tonight, boys vs. girls & Canadians, Which was a blast and a half.

July 19

So, basically all we did was some practicing of our evangelism tools, talks about packing, drama, music, and then a dress rehearsal after dinner. Things are really coming together. If it's touching for me to watch the program I can't wait to see the impact it will have in these people's lives.

Tonight was the campfire and Rick's talk just really made me want to get out there! I'll admit I've been a little nervous thinking about going up to strangers and telling then about God. But Rick said that the Holy Spirit is all excited and ready to overflow like boiling milk and if we say no it's like turning off the flame, it will just shrink down and disappear. So, I just really want to say YES! And get out there.

At the campfire Alisha and Lisa sang my favorite song, "Worlds Apart" by Jars of Clay. It was beautiful.

"Can I be the one to sacrifice? To rid myself of all but love, to give and die."

Can I love them like He does? I sure hope so... Take my world apart.

Oh yeah, John Mark ripped his toe open playing soccer and was taken to the hospital to get six stitches...And the only thing he said when it first happen was "I need a band-aid"



COSTA RICA
July 21

I missed journaling yesterday so I guess I'm going to talk about 2 days. Thursday was the last day of boot camp. We got to sleep in which was nice. The whole day was basically just time for packing, laundry, and prayer. After snacking on some pizza at 11pm we got on the bus and headed for the airport. I could not sleep on that bus. But around 3:30am there we were.

We had to wait for a long time seeing how our flight wasn't until 7. The first flight I slept on, but after the lay over in Atlanta we headed to San Jose, Costa Rica. We have this cute little house to stay in. I'm sharing a room with Alisha and Grace.

Once we got to the room just about everyone took a nap. Dinner was pretty good. After that we had family time with the missionaries. I'm very excited!

July 22

I love the environment!! I got to see God's beautiful creation firsthand. The rainforest was amazing. We went to this thing called Canopy Tours. It was really fun going on the zip lines. It was like i was flying. God's creation will never cease to amaze me.

We got to share with the people at the Canopy and some random people on the road. It's so amazing to see all the opportunities we have to share the gospel with people. I mean even at home.

But for the rest of the day we just did some shopping. We went to this little shop in Sarachi. It had a lot of authentic merchandise.

July 23

Today was great. We went to a church service about an hour away from where we are staying. We got to share a small portion of our program with them, which was good practice. After church we went to eat at McDonald's and we started to do a comparison of the U.S. and Costa Rica. Costa Rica got a point for better and faster fast food and another point for wildlife and conservation. But the U.S. got points for better driving, and not using barbed wire and gates in their decorating. After lunch we headed back to the church to do some door-to-door evangelism.

It was amazing. I was in a group with Rhonda and Erik, and our translator was Guillermo. We talked to some drug addicts and they prayed the prayer, but we didn't know if they meant it. A lot of people weren't home and those who were weren't interested. We went to this one house with loud music blaring and a man walked out laughing at us and said he wasn't interested. Another house had two girls in it who believed in Jesus, but also the laws of the Jews. They were very open, but only willing to be invited to church activities.

But what got me that most was these two girls we met at the park. I showed them the wordless book and Rhonda used the evangicube. Guillermo then talked to them and even though I picked up bits of their Spanish, the look in their eyes is what told me that they truly believed. They said that they had gone to church a couple times, but never knew that it was a personal decision.

So many lives were changed in just a couple hours. I believe they said about 40 people made decisions just on our first day witnessing.

"I wanna be your hands, I wanna be your feet. I'll go where you send me"

July 24

MUFA PUFA!! We had two today and it was awesome to see the Lord work in the lives of these young people. We played crazy games with the black and white teams competing, did our program, and people came to know the Lord.

In the first Mufa Pufa 172 kids made decisions. The second group seemed older and tougher, but 63 accepted the Lord. I didn't really do anything during the first Mufa Pufa, but during the second (though Rene did most of the talking)) it was amazing to listen and watch the three girls. The look in their eyes when they were going "al cielo" because "Jesus Cristo esta en mi corazon" was amazing.

Tonight during family time it was mentioned how easily the younger children believe. And of course i was reminded of Jars.

"They say that I can move the mountains and send them falling to the sea. And they say that hope can heal the broken if I would follow and believe with....Faith like a child"

We could do so much if we stop thinking and worrying. Just go out with love and the faith of a child.

July 25

We went to what I believe was a high school and did a program for them. There were probably more of us then them, so I didn't get to talk to anyone so a few of us went in the corner and prayed.

I got to hang out with Sammy during lunch time and we chilled around the mall. We caught up with Julia, Will, Tim, and Chris and we went around different stores acting like total goofballs.

We left for the orphanage which was amazing!! They were all so cute and joyful. There was this one little girl named Joselin who really loved Amy Cole and me. I think that was the most Spanish I have ever spoken in my life.

Joselin was so happy and understood everything. I would ask her what the different colors of the wordless book meant and she knew. But the most touching part was when i asked her where she was going when she died and she said "al cielo!" And when I asked her why she said "porque Jesus esta en mi corazon!!"

"...He said to them. 'Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" Mark 10:14

No wonder Jesus called the little children to Him. They so willingly and truly believe.

July 26

We did open-air evangelism, which was kind of fun. We sang some songs, made balloons, gave testimonies and did a presentation. We did two programs. After the first program a fellow called me over and I thought he wanted to know something about what we had been talking about. But it ended up being asking where I was from, telling me I was beautiful, and trying to touch me. Thankfully Bruno was there to protect me and I finally snuck away.

After the second presentation I was walking around with Pato and we saw an older gentleman. We started talking to him and it was just me and her. This whole trip I've kind of been the quieter one in the groups, but this time it was just me. It was amazing. I personally led this man to the Lord. You could see joy in his face and the tears in his eyes when he told me he was 70. Praise the Lord! Yesterday I was talking about how great it is to see God working in the lives of little ones. But older people have had more life experience and to have such a dramatic life change is amazing.

We went to another mall for lunch and after we ate Alisha and I went searching for pins. After that we went to a nursing home where we sang a bunch of songs for them and made everyone a balloon. I gave one man the heart and he had the biggest grin on his face, it was so cute.

We came back and a lot of people went to sleep. For some reason a lot of people are feeling sick to the stomach. But Satan can't bring us down with something little like that!

I thank God so much for the friendships I've made. I'm truly going to miss everyone, but especially Alisha. During family time we were singing our hearts out together. But it's alright because when she becomes famous I'll be her number one fan! Haha




NEAR THE END
July 27

Ah! A day of relaxation. We drove out to La Hacienda in San Juan. It was about a 2 1/2 hour drive so Jed and I shared a pillow and slept the whole way. Oh yeah, speaking of Jed he has a new nickname for me. Little Kid. Which he finds funny because he's only a month older than me.

We got to fool around and play soccer. This one Costa Rican lady said I was really good. Haha! But after getting hot and sweaty we went swimming. It felt so nice.

We went door-to-door and my group saw three people come to the Lord. It's so amazing to see hoe God opens these people's hearts.

I shared my testimony with the girls in my cabin group. It felt good to get it out. Amy was very thankful, but I hope somehow I touched the other girls' lives. I just love to share how God changed me and saved my life.

July 28

Basically, it was just a day of rest and fellowship. We ate breakfast, did our quiet time, and then had a big family time with the missionaries as well. Until lunchtime we had a big soccer game (because everyone in Costa Rica loves soccer) and swam. We ate lunch and played some games. Then it was a long bus ride home where Taryn, Alisha, Jed, and I shared our love stories. When we got back we ate dinner and had a big game night in the chapel. We played four on a couch and I've never.

It was a great day of fellowship. Oh yeah, my parents and just about everyone else back home will love the fact that Jed loves to torture Otty. He stuck his body out the window and closed it on his head and then another time he took the elastic on the bus seat and wrapped it around his neck. Jed says it's all in love. Riiiiiight.

July 29

We went to "El Lugar" which is a church about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes away. We split up and went door-to-door in the neighborhood. I was in a group with Jed and Melvin (a hilarious translator). It was a lot of fun. We saw an older woman and a 16 year old girl come to the Lord. Jed and his dad tried to save me from a scarring experience. A young, I think mentally challenged boy at an orphanage pulled his pants down right in front of me. Though they were too late to warn me it's good to know that they are looking out for me.

We went to another mall for lunch, but when we were leaving we got stuck because we didn't have a ticket. But finally we got out and went to a school where we had a mini Mufa Pufa. I was fun like always. We play the weirdest games. At the end of it we talked to all the kids. A lot of them were from the bible clubs, but it was amazing to see how many kids there had come to know the Lord at previous WOL events and how their lives have changed.

We were packing up because we had to lock up at 5 when all of a sudden this kid named Jordan asked me to talk to his friend. I grabbed Coto, but he said to make it quick because we only had 6 minutes. So I went through the wordless book with him and he understood. Coto called Jordan back over and told him to pray with him. I really wanted to finish. What would five more minutes have done? I guess all I can do is pray for him.

We got talking about love lives again. And it made me realize that I shouldn't hang on to Orion, but I shouldn't hate him either. He helped me through so much. It was meant to be at that point in my life and I thank God for the moments we shared.

Our class time was on God's will. What a crazy subject. We look too far to the future. If we live for God a day at a time He won't lead us astray.

July 30

I was an awesome last day in Costa Rica. We went to this cute little church called "El Alto." We did our program and Rick gave the sermon. But after we got to fellowship with the people and had ice cream. Of course. It has been never ending ice cream consumption here.

Anyway, we then went to a big shopping mall where Alisha, Ben, and I just fooled around. When we got back we packed up and a few of us played soccer. Well, I didn't play i just watched because it was raining hardcore.

After dinner we had an amazing family tine. We had almost everyone get up and tell how God had worked in their lives over this trip. He changed all of us so much. The Holy Spirit just pushed me out of my seat so I could share. Afterwards Jed gave me a big hug and no one cared. He is like a big brother, he's awesome.

But, God really spoke to me. I can’t wait to get back home and truly live for Him!!

Aug 1

It's over? I swear we just barely got here yesterday. It was a long day of traveling and goodbyes. We dropped the West Virginians off at the Albany Airport. I'm going to miss those kids especially Jedidiah!!! My big brother.. But we got back to WOL around 6 in the morning. Saying goodbye to Alisha was the hardest of all! Oh man, I love that Canadian.

"You are my strength when I am weak.."

Got to love our song. She really was there when I was weak and I was strong for her.

I thank God so much for the friendships I have made and for the impact they and the people of Costa Rica have had on my life. This trip has been a way for God to bring me back to Him stronger than ever.